On letting go

and focusing on what matters most

Last Sunday I took the shedding autumn leaves as a cue from nature to contemplate letting go.

Since then life has taken me seriously and shown me what I really need to shed, which came out via a marketing mentoring session with that beautiful niece of mine - you know, the one that gave me the Anti-Writers Block jar…

I was sharing my frustrations around my ‘failed’ social media goals. After listening to me rant for a few minutes she gently asked:

What do you want to say?

What brings you joy?

How do you want to feel?

What do you want to give people?

I couldn’t answer her then, but sitting here as I contemplate this week's Instagram post I know.

I want to write words that move me and hopefully you, into places that are hard to name but feel like a grounding ‘yes’. Words that, combined and coalesced, bring a felt sense of connection and resonance that opens and inspires and uplifts and expands and heals. 

My eyes stung hot with tears as the honest admission revelated itself: I don’t wanna play the game anymore. The social media marketing game that is.

The game that I don’t even know how to play properly!

It is taking me away from my joy - the joy I get from making and creating and playing with words in ways that are meaningful and expansive and healing - for me and my audience.

Instead, what I have been fixated on is:
Outcomes
Results
Sales
Followers
Engagement
Winning
The destination
Expectations basically.

When we’re way too focused on outcomes though, we get so caught up in results that we lose sight of the process, the journey, the acts of creating and being and living that make up a project, a day, a life!

I’m all about the journey, but I’m also keen to arrive. And once I’m there I want it to be…well…better than I expected.

But I can’t control the outcomes.

And when I try to I know I am tethering myself to frustration, blame, disappointment and the spiraling why's that lead to the pit of hopelessness.

The climb out is exhausting. And I don’t want to do that to myself anymore.

So. My unrealistic expectations need to go.

Winning the marathon is no longer the goal—focusing on every step is.

So I’m coming back to me: to what I want to give and the energy I bring to what I create and offer and make and share. That’s the only thing I can control anyway.

And that is wisdom we all have access to right there— knowing what we can’t control and putting our heart and soul where we can.

You’ll still see me here and on IG + FB, the website and via email doing the best I can to share what I learn— I’m just not playing the social media/marketing ‘game’ anymore.

As Anne Lamott so beautifully said:

Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.

So that’s what I’ll do—focus on shining in the places that feel good and trust that the light will reach those who really need it.

With love and gratitude to every single one of you for reading my thoughts and posts. And for being on this journey with me. It is a joy to share with you 💗xo